After pondering, praying, and a bit of crying, I eventually reached out to a friend and homeschooling mentor.

In just a sentence or two I outlined the problem and asked if she had any advice. And in one sentence she solved it for me:

"What's your child's love language?" 

Hmmmm. Love languages? I had that filed back in my brain somewhere as it relates to marriage, but I had never paid it much attention when it comes to my children.

And after some research into my child's love language and a little attention in that area, this so-called "issue" pretty much vanished. Vanished, I tell you!

So what is a love language and how can I determine my child's?

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell articulated the five love languages years ago. They write: "Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles."

We want to express unconditional love in each of these ways, of course.

But just like each child has a different personality, they also have a unique love language. Figuring it out can make a huge difference in the health of your homeschool.

I found this online quiz (recommended for ages 9+) invaluable to figuring out my kids' love language preference–Trishna, Jonathan, and Elijah enjoyed it, too!

Here is an overview of the 5 love languages of children and ways we can apply them to our homeschool lives.

The 5 love languages of homeschooling

Physical Touch

A child who best receives love through physical touch desperately needs hugs, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. Not having enough can leave them feeling that they've done something wrong and that you are not pleased with them.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

roughhouse (tickles, wrestling, chasing) with littles who enjoy it

let them sit on your lap for lessons or stories

give them a back massage break for five minutes if they reach a challenge in their work

for older kids or teens, give high fives and pats on the shoulder

make sure to reconnect with physical touch after disciplining or difficult moments